I’m weak… I know. I was 15 day clean of cutting… Then it got too much… I broke down and cut… over and over… I don’t even know how many times… over 50… There so shallow, though, so I’m not in danger… My mom figured it out that I was unclean again and she said she wasent mad but I could tell she was pissed… I’m such a dissapointment to her, I’m so horribal to her… I can’t do anything right for her… No wonder she yells at me and has hit me before… I’m such a waste… I wish I could cut my wrist deep enough to end it, or accutally open my window and jump out of it… Today, I managed to cut my shoulder deep enough to see white skin under my brown… it hurts, but it numbs everything else… but I’m so weak, I cant… I don’t think I can do this for much longer…

  1. wavesagain 1 year ago

    I hope that you are staying strong. We all have moments of weakness and in this strange way of life right now it is easy to turn to unhealthy habits that are familiar or comfortable. I respect that you think of your mother and her feelings and I hope that she was looking at you with concern and not disappointment. Even so, I think you should find reasons to stay “clean” for yourself. Find things or reasons in your life that give YOU joy, that make YOU feel good about YOU.
    I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain. I am sorry that you are feeling like there is no other way out. I imagine this has to be a scary time for you. I hope you reach out to someone in your area and stay safe 🙂

    2 kudos
    • Author
      shadowmoon1123 11 months ago

      Thank you… Really. And I’ll try to stay strong, I will try. And… I’m trying to get help, so thank you for the advice.

      0 kudos

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