Thought I would ACTUALLY leave an upbeat blog!

After the last argument I had, I didn't phone for a few days and last night we had a great conversation.

He basically said that I'm the only one who is ruining the relationship as I am neurotic about everything (which admittedly I am) and that he isn't going anywhere and I should just chill!

I still have some concerns about things but at least I'm feeling alittle more wanted – I wouldn't want to stay with someone that didn't really want me.

Anyway – he said that he still has lots to do, regardless of however much time he has and that I am always gonna be part of that!

I think on retrospect I am too much of a forward thinker and Im paniking about what will happen in the future! I need to let things just be!

Another thing I enjoyed being part of was my placement – yesterday I went to ARC which is a project which gives food 3 times a week to the homeless. I really felt 'there but for the grace of God' and all that – the people I met were lovely, they were chatty (not as chatty as me though lol) and open and I got a real idea of what people who succumb to drugs and alcohol go through (Of course G thought they just needed to make a decision like he did- I reminded him that not everyone has that strength of character!)

So there you go – for once I am not moaning lol!!

Hope you are all well and I do want to say something – sometimes I come on here and I feel (AND THIS IS ALL JUST ME FEELING THIS) like I shouldn't be here, like I don't have a say in things and like I would be seen as being someone who hasn't got a clue about Hiv etc and what happens in the lives of those who do have it.

What I want to say is thankyou all SO much for embracing me – you have all been so helpful in making me see there is more – not only in my relationship but in my own life.I feel so blessed to know you all.

Thanks Guys – I sincerley mean that!