Yes…I wonder if there is a single moment that goes by that I have not rehashed a good piece of the last 24 plus hours and a few memorable events….I have to keep myself in check and remeber that my life is good right now.  But I still need to protect myself, not get to confident…I was looking at a fri sat and sun that  no one was going to be around, I realized it was not that everyone is going to be gone but those that I wanted to be around will not be…that does bother me that I sometimes can not get out of my own way to see that things are ok and that I have some people who really care and are there…they might not be right in front of me where I can see them, but they are there.  They may not answer when I call or text..but ther are there (sometimes even when I dont want them to be)  I had both counselling and OP today as well as the Noon meeting…I tell ya though a day as full as this can sometimes wipe me out emotionally, I did manage to hit dunkin donuts with bll this morning and then Corrie and I went out to breakfast…

I did come to terms with the fact that I am going to ask for a full psych eval…and then actually listen to the results and if there be a diagnosis, (which I already know the answer too) I shall accept it and take meds accordingly so that I can function with the assistance/help I need.  THis is a pretty big thing for me..I was on meds before…I just drank the whole time…didnt get the desired effect that I suppose the meds would have given had I taken them alone…

I think I need some bed right now..I have not to much left to say…my head is full but I cant put it into words..

Good Night Tribe…Sleep well…Mike