I talked to my mom a few minutes ago about school. She thinks it may be better fo rme to take a semester off and work. "Figure out what you wanna do with your life," well, I thought I had it figured out. She was the one who suggested my major in the first place.

I know I could have done better in school up to now if I tried. I should have tried.

I never did well in school. I was the kid who never did their homework, and skipped classes when presentations were due. But I can't really blame ALL of it on the illnesses can I?

When she says stuff like how I need to take a break or try taking different classes to see if I like em, it makes me feel guilty. Ive done that before with no luck, and wasted time. I feel like if I had settled on my current major right out of high school id be done and working by now.

Mom thinks I shoudl get a zoology degree. I dont know what I coud do with it though.

first day of class was harder than usual. I dunn if it was from the energy drink (I felt like I needed it because I diddnt get much sleep) or if the anxiety just isnt under control.

I really think I just need to do more online courses.

I dunno.

She says she worried because I am too concetrated on the future. In a way she's right. But what she doesnt understand is that I really dont have anything else to look forward to. I do need to put more energy and effort into school, but I dont want my whole life to be about school.

She's pressuring me to make friends as well. Something I NEVER was good at.

which confuses me. DO I need to concentrate on a social life, school, or finding a job? I dont feel like I can do all three.

I guess I just need to work harder.