I would like to formally welcome to newest member of my family, Bunker, a black lab/beagle mix. He is almost eight weeks old and was adopted by my family from Willing Hearts Dalmation Rescue (don't ask me why a dalmation rescue had a black lab/beagle mix, but it did). My step-dad is a firefighter, and since my current yellow lab is named R.E. after Real Estate (my mom is a realtor), we thought we should name this new puppy something fire-fightery. So we listed off names, Ladder, Ariel, Siren, Hoser, etc. My mom, though, thought of Bunker. The large suits firefighters wear into a fire are called bunker suits, and thus the name Bunker came to be.

He does solve some problems with anxiety, just as R.E. does. But he also causes it. I can sense how sad R.E. has become, because he has to share a family that he had all to himself for four years. Now, this new puppy is stealing all of R.E.'s toys as well as his family's attention. R.E. is not mean to the puppy, but I can see the jealousy in his eyes, and he often rejects the puppy when Bunker wants to play or snuggle. In fact, he all-around avoids Bunker. I then feel bad for Bunker, who sits there and cries because R.E. isn't playing with him. However, the situation has improved over the past few days as they continue to open up to each other. I am sure they will be best friends in only a few weeks.

My fear of death has struck me again. I seem to be going through periods, about a week long each. The first week I may be very anxious, the next week very depressed, and back and forth. Well this week I am anxious, and I have been having trouble falling asleep for fear of dying in my sleep. I made it through last night, which gives me hope that I can also make it through this night. But I cannot help but feel afraid of the possibility of having as anxiousa night as last night.


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