Guys, I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Self harm doesn’t work anymore, it’s not worth it. I’ve kept six hair ties around my wrist for about a year, maybe a year and a half. I took them off for a shower and my wrist is raw. I feel useless and worthless. I really just need my pain to stop. I have no reason left to try. I honestly don’t. Guys I’m sorry, I just need everything to stop. I’m only 14, people keep telling me I have my whole life ahead of me. Blake and Jayson were 17, they committed suicide 5 months ago a week apart. They still had so much. Then Alex, committed suicide two weeks ago. Guys I have nothing here. You guys, the 12 maybe 13 people who actually read these thank you. You guys are awesome really. You guys help a lot. Thank you so much. I’m weak. Even the strongest fighters grow weary and weak. I’m at my damn limit. We don’t choose to exist but we choose to live. I’m just trapped, alone, scared. I don’t even know why I have a damn phone, nobody texts me. I have one contact, and I’m thankful for him, I really am. We all fight demons, and mine are winning. I…I just don’t know what to do anymore, who to turn to. I’m apparently just another attention whore. I’m sitting alone in my bed listening to Citizen Solder let it burn. That’s a song that Blake would play anytime my depression or anxiety got bad and I would lay there in his arms listening to his heartbeat. I’ve lasted 5 months without him. I don’t know how much longer I can last. I really don’t. There isn’t anything here for me. I like many others wish to do big things. I just need a fucking escape, that’s all I need. My depression has made me emotionless. I can’t feel anymore. I’m just here. Not dead but not alive either. I don’t know what I want anymore. I just need to stop feeling so numb. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I could easily tie a noose right now. It’s not worth it. I don’t deserve to live but I don’t deserve to die. Dm me if you want. Idc.

~Cory. A. B. Grey