Look your friends up, its neverending. I just want to be able to understand a movie or a sentence of lyrics in a song or what the noises actually mean or what a picture means or what a line means or what a colour means but iv only just realised age 29 that everything means something. I can make it but i cant take it in. I can play the drums, write a story, talk, but i cant listen or understand anything they say back to me. I dont know if i just need to reset my lymph nodes or something or maybe i was just meant to give by praying and somehow knowing wha t to do. I just carry on… But meanwhile, dont wait for them, look them up. My problem now is raping people (metaphorically) who want to die by looking them up so hard so i leave them and then im alone making prayers but then again its neverending life im guessing so theres someone out there listening. What if they kil l all life? Though