Family,

Yesterday I met with my case worker and she was able to give me my CD4 count, which is 817, and my CD3 count which is also 817… However they didn't have my viral load in yet… so today she called me back and it was 108,000 and she mentioned that we need to work on getting that down… she said that if I wanted to be aggressive that I could get it down to undetectable… Which is exactly what I want…

Last night while reading things on poz.com, webMD, the body, and from here… my CD4 count didn't sound very good… yet after talking to a few people, I'm not so anxious as I was last night… Which lead to only getting 3 hours of sleep, and the night before I only got 2 hours of sleep… This lack of sleep in dragging me down… Today while trying to work, I feel asleep while at my computer… I called my doctor and asked if he'd change my meds and he wants me to come in for another office visit and charge, so that he can see if he wants to make any changes… When I first saw him, he was ok with me, asking about my dating practices, and wanted to know if my girlfriend was on the pill… when I told him no, he suggested that I rethink this issue, then when i told him that I was gay and was dating a man, he started talking down to me and treating me as if I was some dirty nasty faggot… So I don't trust this guy, nor is he very accomodating… When I called to have him change my meds, which was only about 5 days from having gone in for the orginal visit, they told me it would be Feb 22nd before I could get in to see the doctor…. Hell, I could be dead by then if I wasn't working on calming and relaxing skills… So I'm working at finding a gay friendly doctor..

I'm working hard at staying away and since I don't know how long this will last, I'm gonna signoff and hit the hay….

I pray that you're lives are as blessed as you have blessed me…

Tchau,

Lonny