Hi. I guess you know I\'m new to this group. I was just recently diagnosed with HIV (less than a month ago) after having been ill with various other illnesses for awhile. It was a real shock to me and I guess I\'m still in partial denial about it despite the evidence. When my doctor told me the results of the tests he explained how bad I was by drawing a map of the continental United States, with the East Coast being good health and the West Coast signifying the "end of the line". I was at the Eastern border of California! Meaning, a little longer and I wouldn\'t be joining this group, or any group. My doctor gave me some prescriptions for some meds and I\'ve been taking them. He made one suggestion as to where to go for continued care and then kind of just said "Good luck" and then I was on my own. Kind of like being put adrift in the sea, not knowing how to steer myself to port or really understanding my situation.

If it wasn\'t for the most wonderful and big-hearted and kind friend and more, I wouldn\'t know what to do. You know her as Wishuponastar. She has been my rock and has helped me so much. We\'ve known each other for years and even when I told her I was diagnosed with HIV, she never flinched or tried to distance herself from me. Instead, right away, she started looking up HIV and what it\'s symptoms were and what to do if you got it and then she joined this group and encouraged me to do so also. It was with great reluctance that I joined this group but I care about this person so much I thought I would give it a try.

I\'m not a stuck up person, in fact, I\'m a very friendly, but shy person at first. I\'m a loyal friend and I would give you whatever I could if I could. I\'m intelligent, talented, spiritual and kind. I have loads of talent. Please don\'t be afraid to say hi to me, strike up a conversation with me. I\'m not into drama and the usual online shenanigans that you find in other groups. I\'m way to old for that kind of garbage. I\'m 54 years old, black, and handsome (so Whishuponastar says). I have a sense of humor and I love to laugh and make others laugh.

This is all so new to me and I\'m still dumbstruck about the whole thing. Just this morning I was saying maybe this was all some terrible dream and I\'m gonna wake up. But I realize the only way I\'m gonna wake up is if I wake myself up and get my act together and try to get well. It\'s very intimidating at this point in time and often I have said to myself that maybe it\'s not worth it to try and get better. Too much stuff going on. I have plenty of HIV related illnesses going on with me all at the same time now and when I think about trying to treat all of them I just get frustrated and I\'m also a little bit lazy. Thanks to Wishuponastar, I\'m actually doing something to get help, including joining this group.

I hope to make some friends here and most of all I hope to get some help and support that I so badly need. I haven\'t cried yet about my situation. I don\'t know when that\'s gonna happen. I\'ll really need support then. I thank you for welcoming into the group and I look forward to making lots of new friends.

Also, hello to Marc and TomBrazil. My angel tells me you\'ve been very nice to her. But then, who wouldn\'t be? She\'s wonderful.

Well, talk to you all soon.

Cheers