So last night I probably experienced the worst letdown I’ve ever had in my entire life. I didn’t think it could get worse really, but it did.
See, I met this guy on a Christian dating site about a year ago last December. We really hit it off, had mutual attraction and whatnot, and alot in common. We did emails for about a week, then progressed to phone, and have been friends since. I got a boyfriend whom I dated for 6 months, then I broke up. Right after I broke up, he started dating a girl and he went out with her for 3 months, then he broke up with her. In the meantime, we had never stopped talking, we just stopped talking as frequently. When he broke up with his gf he started calling me pretty regularly.
I have always wanted to meet him but never thought it would work out…he lives in Chicago, I live in Colorado. So I never really planned on meeting him. But one day about 2 months ago I got an email from TravelZoo (this email newsletter I’m subscribed to that publishes weekly travel deals) out and it said there was a flight from my city to his for $98 round trip!! I figured this was the chance to meet him. It was now or never, and he agreed it would be cool to finally meet after having talked on the phone for a year, though he specifically said he didn’t want to start dating anyone yet, he was still hurt from his ex, but we could meet as friends and see if there was anything there in-person. I Agreed, that was a good foundation to start on.
After that, he started calling me almost everyday just to see how my day was going, always expressing that it was so cool we were going to meet. Last week, he even told me in a text that he’d had a dream recently and we were going out in it. But I didn’t want to take stock in that, and whenever I would think about him, I would try to turn off all emotional ties so that I wouldn’t meet him and be disappointed if my expectations, my dreams, didn’t match up to who he was in person, because I have been disappointed alot in the past. In all this time, he has never lead me to believe he isn’t as sweet as I still believe he is.
But last night I signed onto Facebook, and there his name was…____ in a relationship with ____. I couldn’t believe it. We had JUST talked Sunday, the very day before this, and he had never mentioned another girl!!
Never have I been so hurt. I mean, I wasn’t going there expecting to get a boyfriend, but I was going there expecting that we would both be considering the idea in the back of our minds, and there he goes, just FOUR days before we were supposed to meet and gets a girlfriend (not the same girl as 3 months ago mind you!!). He couldn’t even wait?!! And he had the audacity to quote Scripture, about how love is patient, love is kind.
Now I have no idea what to do. My plane ticket is nonrefundable. But I was going to have to pay for a hotel room the 5 nights I was going to be there and I really don’t have the money to do that if there is no return on my investment. Again, I didn’t expect to "get some" or anything – I planned on only hugging him while I was there – but I did expect him to not be attached, to truly give "us" a chance. I am just so dumbfounded I have no idea what to do.
The girl isn’t even pretty, and he already told me on the phone last night it’s going to be a short relationship. So the whole thing is just DUMB, and it’s obvious she’s just his rebound girl because he was feeling lonely and sad about his ex, went over to her house, she cheered him up, they watched a movie and kissed, now she’s his girlfriend. Agggh. I just can’t believe guys.
One day he will be sorry he messed up a chance to meet me.
But I still can’t help but be depressed about the whole thing, because I had been looking forward to meeting him for MONTHS and now I am out of $150 (that was the price after taxes). Half of me wants to still go and meet him, the other half says that is a HUGE waste of money.
Well the thing is, the transfer fee is $100, the ticket was only $150. So I will only have a $50 credit to apply to another flight. BUT, I’m thinking I probably won’t go, because I sent him a text earlier today saying to call me and we’d talk about it, and maybe I still wanted to come, and he hasn’t called, and as for what time it is now, won’t be calling. WHAT A JERK is all I have to say.
Last night he gave me this long story about how he really wants to meet me, he loves people and making new friends and he would fly out here next summer after he breaks up with this girl (they already to break up in June when she moves). And he also offered that since it was such an awkward situation now, he would be willing to pay half of my ticket ($75) if I didn’t come.
Well, I still want to go, because the way I see it, I have 5 days off work where I will just be sitting around the house watching movies and I tend to especially get depressed on the weekends, so it’s almost better to be there and miserable than at home and miserable.
HOWEVER, I really can’t afford the trip. I was going to make a lot of sacrifices to go but it’s $550 after all the expenses (food, hotel, dog sitting, airport parking), which is not worth it to me just to "make a new friend." So, I told him if he really is serious about meeting, then he should pay half my expenses to be there which would still be cheaper than him coming out to visit me next summer. It’s up to him now. I’m pretty sure that was all just a bunch of talk, and I’ll be here this weekend instead of there. But now I will at least know for sure he isn’t worth talking to anymore because he is one guy really good at making you feel bad for being mad at him because he’s so nice. But this will be the test to see if he’s all talk, and not really nice. I already know the answer, but I want him to see it for himself, and this way I don’t feel bad about not going anymore.