so,, we missed Jasper again tonight- well we can only assume it was her- i was sitting out in th car looking out by 8pm, sunset. she's been coming atleast by then.

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the garage was open to, and it has motion dectors so when something moves inside the light turns on. i checked the door and under all three cars multiple times.

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then suddenly at like 8:50 the light in the garage came on, so i quickly checked but nothing was there or under the cars.

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I checked the door- the light had been turned off even though we told dad not to!- but I could see the food had been eaten.

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I feel like such an idiot, how can I miss her like that!? i was so focused but I saw nothing and she was gone in a flash!

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me and my brother talked about it while checking others places for a bit. we're gona put out more food for her tomorrow by the door as always but also the garage so maybe we have a better chance of seeing her.

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our neighbor comes home late to, so he said if he saw her he'd try to catch her.

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I think she's only been eating when she comes, the water looks untounched. I pray she's been getting water somehow because it's getting so hot!

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i'm rambling, i'm sorry but i'm ao anxious for her! she's my baby and it's been a week already!

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it's been causing me alot of GI distress, all of this. which mom is getting mad at me for. i'm sorry if this is how my body copes!

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ugh….anyway, gonna try to rest a bit. feels like i'm gonna vomit. I just want to die, i'm a failure in every sense of the word….

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Goodnight 🙁