I’m doing the best I can in my situation. My choice of jobs isn’t for everyone, it wasn’t for me but sometimes shit happens and you do what you have to do to survive.
I work bachelor parties and entertain the men who want to be entertained. Sometimes during the party, but usually after, I’m called names, mean, hurtful names. I’ve been hit and kicked and held down and forced to do things I said no to. Yet these guys high 5 each other, laff about it and have fun because I don’t really matter.
I do my job well, I make sure the guys are happy so why do they feel the need to put me down and sometimes even hurt me?
The other day I’m at the mall and 2 guys walk up to me…1 says this is that skanky little slut who worked blah blah’s bachelor party. How ’bout we go to the car and have some fun. I tell them no and try to walk away. Jerk grabs me and is all, what’s the big deal, we’ll pay you, it’s not like you are sweet or nice or anything. Your a slut so lets have fun.
I said touch me again and I will start screaming and we will see who gets help first. They walked away calling me names.
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Good for you for threatening to scream while in a public place. It’s awkward to see anyone from work (coworker or clientele) outside of work, even for office workers. I know I will literally cross streets to avoid having to talk to most of my coworkers – past or present – outside of work. 🙂
You handled that situation perfectly. You have a right to say no, especially when you are off duty. The slurs from those guys at the mall are little more than a temper tantrum because – and this is important – THEY HAVE NO POWER AND THEY KNOW IT. They had dehumanized you in their mind and your threat to make a scene not only threatened to expose them but reminding them that, regardless of what they think, the rest of the world sees you as a human being worthy of respect and dignity. That is where your power lies.
I am sorry you have to experience mistreatment and disrespect in the presence of some of your customers. There is no easy answer to this. If these guys didn’t hire you, they’d just find someone else. If you’ve got the stomach for the work, and the thick skin for the nuances involved in the work, then why not reap the benefits yourself? Just be careful. Screen your clients and events carefully. Trust your gut, because it is just a reaction to non-verbal cues that your brain has not consciously processed. And please, always have a “buddy” you can check-in with. This person doesn’t have to know everything – just that you’re going to such-and-such event and you will text if you’ll be past a certain time. Then, if you do work late, make sure to check-in before and after that overtime gig. The World has never been “safe” for anyone, but it has gotten a lot more populated which means the statistical risk for exposure to crappy people is higher than ever.