Sometimes I feel like I am an actress, or a broadway star, or just someone who knows how to put on a really good show for everyone else around me. My whole life I have had to play a part and pretend to be okay and live in a house with parents who think I am someone who is completely perfect with nothing wrong at all. But these past 8 years have been the hardest, the hardest at trying to pretend to be okay and hiding all of my fears and insecurities. The wall I have been slowly building is collapsing and somedays it is so hard to breathe . I am tired of holding my breath and pretending like all is okay, cause things are not okay. On top of having anxiety, I also live my life fighting with my binge eating disorder and body dysmorphic disorder. Every morning waking up has been a living nightmare and trying to spend my days working on ignoring that small voice in my head that is telling me that I am not worth it, that I am ugly and should be ashamed of how I look, or not to eat because “you will keep getting fatter and fatter” is so tiring. Even worse are the days where I can’t get myself to stop eating. I apologize if this sounds like a giant rant about how awful my life has been, because I don’t mean it to be. But being a part of a community where I know that I am not alone and know that everyone is trying their best helps me cope and helps me release some of the breath that I have been holding for so long. So I take everyday, one minute at at time just trying to breathe.
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2019 was a rough year.
AngryAtheist_withOCD, , Anxiety, Anxiety, OCD, 1
Hi guys. I hope everyone is doing well. <3 I just wanted to update you all on the recent...
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So tired of Not sleeping!!!
yorkielover, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Medication, Sleep Disorders, 2
I can't sleep at night & it isn't always from thinking to much…most nights I am laying there thinking...
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Job, family, long blog
CeruleanKisses, , Anxiety, Anger, Anxiety, Career, OCD, Personality Disorder, Sleep Disorders, 0
Job stuff… The interview meeting testing process on Friday went pretty well. I impressed with my typing skills. I...
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Anxiety experience
Couragetofight, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Relationships, Social Anxiety, 0
Does anyone find that their anxiety presents itself in a different way either in general or when they find...
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9/15/2017 – Life Spoilers
Allydancer, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Depression, Social Anxiety, 1
9/15/2017 So I don’t know if anyone will read this, because there are lots of blogs on this site...
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My story so far
Becks1074, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Child, Relationships, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Weight Loss, 5
Hi I’m Rebecca I guess you could say that I have always been anxious even as a child. I...
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It only maks me feel worse..
soullessbvblover, , Anxiety, Anger, Suicide, 1
Hey again…I was gonna wait to post this til tomorrow..But I thought I\'d just write it out to get...
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Hospitals and Day Programs
seekandyoushallfind, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Child, Medication, Questions, Social Anxiety, Suicide, Therapist, Therapy, 0
So I was hospitalized last week. I went to the ER to be admitted and it ended up taking...