I'm new on here and so far I like the vibe I'm getting.

I'm not super big on the whole expressing my feelings thing; there are very few people that know I have anxiety. It usually takes me a while to open up. So that is what I am going to attempt to do on my first blog.

My anxiety really takes over at night and I don't get much sleep without my little friend ZzzQuil. I get racing thoughts about things I said or did, sometimes it's stuff I don't know if I actually did say or do. But what really gets to me is stuff other people say, especially if it was about something I did or said. I feel like a crazy person for saying that but it's true! I'll give a brief example: couple weeks ago some friends and I had a little too much to drink, I honestly don't remember much but my friends do and they keep making these little comments about things I said or did and they wont stop. It's all I can think about now. I seriously cannot stop thinking about it. And then something else will pop into my head like school, then I have this cluster of thoughts that start to turn into me freaking out because I didn't get into grad school, I've wasted 7 years of my life going to school, I don't want to remember what a sloppy mess I was a couple weeks ago, I'm afraid someone is going to steal my dog since like 40+ dogs have been stolen from my community in the last 3 months, and I still have so much homework to do and no time because I'm freaking out and all I want to do is sleep.

So… that's what it looks like in my head… sometimes, I'm not like this all of the time, I swear. I tried to tell a friend what my thoughts are like and she asked if I was schizo. I'm not FYI. A therapsit told me that I just over think everything and maybe that is the case but I haven't figured out how to really tell myself that I'm over thinking and that everything will be ok once I calm the eff down.

2 Comments
  1. jake_a 9 years ago

    i totally feel you on racing thoughts, and i keep thinking, oh my gosh why did i say that, or why didn\'t i say that! and i get into a deep thought process on that it\'s really frustrating. well, i hope all starts going well for you, try relaxing and drink tea to slow your thoughts, if you ever want to talk just send me a message!

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  2. gomizzou 9 years ago

    Yeah–that overly-thinking thing…I can relate.

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