today i went to the mall with my best friend (or thats what she says) i was supposed to go yesterday but i couldnt so she said we'll go today. then like 10 min before she says shes bringing her bf and some friends and i was like wtf i dont wanna go. i thought i should just go by myself or something then but i went along anyways. the whole time before i was nervous my hands were cold and sweaty and i felt like throwing up. when i met her she introduced me to these 2 guys and then went to get her bf. then we all went to the movies and she was with her bf and the guys were together and i was walking by myself. but they started talking to me the 2 guys..i dont even know their names lol…it was a little better but then i knew she was gunna do something cuz she had condoms and she was wearing a skirt. she only had her bf for 5 days and she went in the movies with him for like an hour and left me with these guys i dont even know. anyway we just watched some scary movie which i hate. it was ok i just felt bad cuz she ditched me. then we watched another movie and i thought she was gunna stay but she left after 10 min. then i had to leave cuz of my mom she thought it was too late it was only fucking 10 at night anyway i called my friend but she nver answered. she was supposed to take me home and i wasnt supposed to see anyone but her so i was gunna get in trouble. my mom came there outside to pick me up and made me leave. then she started texting me after like 20 min. i told i was mad and she said she was sorry and shed make it up to me. thats good but i dunno if she'll actually do it or shes just saying that. shes the only friend i have though and i dont wanna lose her i dunno what to do. i luv her but shes just a bitch sometimes.

also she told me those 2 guys had gfs when they didnt. she lied cuz she wanted me to go. i dont get why she even wanted me to go i hardly saw her. anyway i was flirting with one of the guys the whole time but i thought he had a gf. then she told me he liked me and he didnt have a gf. i was kind of happy i guess i liked him too but i still luv my ex bf. later though she told me that he just wanted to fuck me and nothing else. he told me hes a virgin and he wants to wait till hes married. wtf why did he lie like that. im confused. i was happy until i found that out. there must be something wrong with me cuz all the guys i talk to only want that from me. i mean am i that boring that thats all im good for. i dont think im ever going to find a guy like my ex bf. even though he lied to me before he moved everything was perfect he loved me and treated me like a princess lol. but now hes going out with someone else and thinks im a crazy bitch and hes trying to make me look bad when hes the one that cheated or if he didnt then he still lied. anyway i wrote too much i should really get to bed.