Ugh I am so bad, I typed my blog and it all got erased bc my Computer shut down, I was soo sad = (!

Tomorrow I start my new Job, I dont know if it will just be paper work and some computer stuff or what, but im super super nervous!! I want to do good, I want this to be a great whole new start, I want to make new friends, meet new people, be good at this job and Hopefully enjoy it.. & It's all confusing now bc my Brother's Car is broke and not fixable, and He has to get to School Everyday so the Car situation may get a little hectic. Going to Work w/out a car, yah thats gonna be nerve wracking. & Working whle my Parents are out of Town, that freaks me outtttt!

I ended it with my bf Today, was it the right thing? I Think….. But i'm not sure, I had an idea of how things could be, but I dont know if they would have worked out that way, maybe I need time to get me straight & I'm just gonna have to Believe if its meant to be it will be.. But me being with Him and talking to other guys, Looking 4 other guy's, I even went out on a date with another guy, THAT IS NOT ME! I have never ever ever ever been that person who Thougth any of that was okay & If im not sure and I'm Looking else where I cant be with Him. I cant be with someone bc it's easy or bc I Think thats who I'm supposed too be w/.! & then this other guy, my past Love, I can't date him, I cant talk to him like i do and be all lovey with him, bc He is with another girl, weather He is happy or not, He is with Her.. I was the other women once and I felt like crap for doing it because I have been cheated on & again this isn't me. This is not the person I am or ever want to be.!!!!! He's a jerk anyway's, told me He was fighting some guys last night bc they were gonna jump His Cousin, that's y he Didn't answer my texts or call's.. He also said he went to the Police Station and then straight to work so He didn't have time to call me, stupid me believed his cute little apology but then He did the same crap Tonight, no call back and no texts! Whatever. I gotta get me straight, bc thats not the kind of relationship thats gonna go anywhere or make me happy.

Well I have to get up and take my Mum to work, Im not a Morning Person & I also have to take Her for Blood Work. I feel bad bc since I dont know how long I'll have to be @ Work 2morrow, She has to stay at Work during Her Lunch Break. Hopefully it all works out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3