Relationships!?

       Why is it so hard to find a good relationship these days? You fight so hard for the one you love, you make sacrafices to save them, you put your life on hold and then it seems like you do not get the same in return!  I am not perfect by any means, I have definitely made my share of bad mistakes but at least I am an honest person. How can you build a relationship on lies? Does anyone else feel the way I do?  Why is it so hard to have a normal relationship with this disease or without it? All I want is for someone to hug me when i get home because they are happy to see me, to know that someone cares about you enough to ask how your day was.  Someone who wants to pull you near to them and not just because they are cold but because they need to feel your loving touch.  I want to feel needed and I want to feel what it's like to have someone in my life that could not live without me, someone who I can share the beautiful visions of the world with, a best friend, a long lost companion.  I just want to have a best friend who loves to be around me. I need you all right now, I need friends I am all alone in the world now, I was left here by myself for the last time! She left me and the dog here and lied to me, left me standing on the cold sidewalk of pain clutching a suitcase in my clammy hands as the smiles of a new day washed over me and through the rain gutter and down the swift avanue of what was to become.  Its time for a new face to breathe life into my lungs, and walk with me where ever I go.  It will be the love for myself it will not where a disguise, it will hold my hand now and forever more. I will wait for the time when this heart can shine and embelish the touch of another and the sounds of the beginning.  I will survive and thank god for giving me the chance to not take things for granted and for the power to move on when thought i could not get out of bed.  For all of the wonders of the world, the meaning of friendship, the warming rain that  cleans my soul. The view of a mountain top and the smell of the oceanic breeze dancing with my face as the waves caress my mind and tell me that it is ok you are loved. 

well thats about all i have this morning, to all the tribers, thankyou for bieng there and I would love to be your friend and thank god for all of you, never take things for granted, and just be happy.     

your friend  and blood brother, Jason Shira