Living in 2017 was like reliving the worst hits of the last 7 years. Everything I was ever afraid of I had to face over again. Im still fragile, I can’t handle much as resilient as I have to be. I don’t want anymore plot twist in my life to happen as much as I can’t control everything which is something I have to let go of that. Something else happened I didn’t think could or ever have to. Up until last year I had a huge family, growing up I had a huge family even when we became estranged from certain people I still had a big family. I cut so many people out, limited how much time I spend around some unsupportive people and my circle of people shrunk. I don’t have friends, so my circle is more like an ink dot. Anyways, I’m working today on my next books and have been tight lipped about what it is. So a few weeks ago I announced what my next book is going to be and the plan that I have. It didn’t really dawn on me until now that the people I told were really the only immediate people I had to tell before I make a bigger announcement in the future. It wasn’t that long ago I had a mass of people who were my immediate family that would get the same announcement. I went from 40 to 6 people that’s how far it’s dipped down. Unfortunately the unsupportive people in my family wouldn’t care anyways. I’d get more of a reaction out of them if I was announcing a whoops pregnancy. Which is just disappointing that me writing a book is the disappointment and getting pregnant on accident is more acceptable. Of course writing a book is a lot like childbirth and this is the longest pregnancy ever.
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I’m deeply sorry that you’re reliving everything. It is just as difficult the second time around ..