This is something I never would’ve thought I’d do, but I’m kind of desperate at this point. I’ve kind of struggled personally with so many issues including severe depression, anxiety attacks, bulimia, and even suicidal thoughts. For sure your average shit storm that you most definitely would have wanted to avoid in the past. Thankfully, I’m working through a lot of these issues and am eternally grateful to say that I wouldn’t classify myself as someone whose depressed anymore. The thing is, I’m stuck right now. Im not depressed or sad right now in my life. Actually, I’d say I’m very much content with the way things have been going and the progress I’ve made compared to a few month ago, but I’m really stuck and confused. My day-to-day routine is very much full. Its school in the mornings, some sort or working out (usually yoga), work in the evenings, and then I come home and chill out and usually smoke to help me go to bed and also I don’t know, weed has become a part of my everyday routine. The thing is, I feel so unfulfilled lately, like something is missing from my life and I don’t know what. Im planning on buying a chameleon sometime in the next 2 weeks lol so I don’t know maybe having a pet will give me some purpose, but I feel like I’m very much just going through a confused life crisis right now, which just makes me feel so idiotic to say. Everything in my life is going right, or so it seems, but it all feels like a sham to me honestly. Everything does. I’m reanalyzing and reassessing everything I’ve been taught and all my limiting beliefs and it’s actually just very confusing and every time I try to talk to anyone about it they just don’t understand. They assume I’m trying to subtly tell them I’m depressed, which isn’t the case. I have a best friend who is amazing and I could tell anything to if I needed to, but I don’t because she doesn’t get it. She tries her hardest I believe, but there is just this element of us relating to one another that’s missing. At least for me. I know she doesn’t feel the way I feel because I think it’s just really easy for me to relate to others because of the way I think and some things I’ve dealt with. Like I said, I’m just missing something and I have no clue what it is. I’ve tried to occupy myself even more, and indulge myself in my artwork and writing more but it’s also just not filling this void. I’ve noticed that I’ve been smoking more too and I think it’s in search to fill this void, but it’s not helping either and I’ve just decided to take a step back from that as well. I was just wondering if anyone has this feeling of unfulfillment or a missing piece? I’m not sure if this even made any sense because my mind is all over the place haha

1 Comment
  1. audgepodge 4 years ago

    Hi. I read your comment on my blog thing and was super surprised to have found someone else feeling similarly to me so fast after joining this. That was my entire point of joining this online community was to hopefully find other people who have gone through/are going through some of the same things I am because especially right now I am having a hard time connecting with even my closest friend because of my past and the place I am spiritually and mentally right now. I read your post and have had/ am having and struggling with a lot of the same things you are. I have struggled to find my “purpose” I guess you could say and felt lost a lot. I’d really like to talk to you more and hear more about what you have been through and how you personally were able to get out of your depression. If you want to talk feel free to message me (I think you can do private messaging on here? Can always just talk in the comments too lol)

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