Think
before you speak…

Here are six
reasons why you should think before you speak -the last one is great! Have
you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take
the words back…or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the
Testimonials of a few people who did….

FIRST
TESTIMONY:

I walked
into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
loudly, \'How much do you charge for a
shampoo and a blow job?\'  I turned around and walked back out and never
went back. My husband didn\'t say a word…he knew better.

SECOND
TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store
comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women\'s
type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was
approached by

one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,
I looked at him and said,

\'I think I like playing with mens
balls\'

THIRD
TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were
looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any
help. I replied, \'No, I\'m just looking at your nuts.\' My sister started to
laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red
and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me
forget.

FOURTH
TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one
afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I
was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start
behaving \'right now\' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the
eye and said in a voice just as threatening, \'If you don\'t let me go right
now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy\'s pee-pee last night!\'
The silence was
deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they
were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were
screams of laughter.

FIFTH
TESTIMONY:
Have you ever
asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of
problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.  One day we
stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands.
It was very busy,
with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
funny, so of course I checked
my seven-month-old
daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to
go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said \'No\'.
I kept thinking \'Oh Lord, that child
has had an accident, and I don\'t have any clothes with me.\' Then I
said, \'Danny, are you
SURE you didn\'t have an accident?\'  \'No,\' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more
time, \'Danny did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his
pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled \'SEE MOM, IT\'S JUST
FARTS!!\'
While 30 people nearly choked to death
on their tacos laughing, he
calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel
better,
thanking me for the best laugh they\'d
ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST
TESTIMONY:
This had most
of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news
anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.  What
happens when you predict snow but don\'t get any!  We had a female
news anchor that,
the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn\'t,  turned to the
weatherman and asked: \'So Bob, where\'s that 8 inches you promised me last
night?\'  Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew
did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn\'t
that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh