Well I fell asleep about 2am and here it is 6:21am and I am waking up. I have to get more sleep than this being 7mo pregnant in the next two weeks!

    I am really frustrated. I just want to be ok while my husband is away for these two weeks. I mean I am not in any danger so why can't I just relax. I feel my anxiety is going to spin out of control. The last time he was gone my anxiety stayed even after he got home and it took almost a year to get to a good place with my anxiety and so I feel like here we are again. Last time he left I had to be hospitalized for two weeks once he was back. It was a nightmare.

   I just don't think I am cut out to be a military wife. I can't deal with being forced to live like this. His Commander didn't care that I am 7mo pregnant with a severe anxiety disorder or that I have to use a wheel chair everywhere but my house because my pelvic bones are seperating too much due to preggo hormones and I am just pissed off being put in this position. My OB wrote two letters asking for  them to not send my husband to this school until after I had the baby so that if I had a hard time I would then be able to take some meds.  Also because of the pelvic bones issue.

    I opted for a drug free pregnancy and was doing really well my anxiety and not needing meds and now I feel like a failure because I am contemplating having to take a prescription to sleep.  I have no clue what I would take during the day to help calm me down because I am pregnant. I guess I just feel trapped too because being pregnant really limits what I can and can't take med wise.

Please pray for me and I will pray for you. God bless you.