Life is challenging each day the decisions we make and the way we choose to live our life that day, this day, this moment that we are in and the moments we may plan when all goes right so we think. 

While helping my friends, working in my garden and my daily life events I have really gotten my body in shape, probably better shape then I have been in 25 years. I feel good and yet I'm truly exhausted from what I am doing. Wow to have a body like this was only when I was in more sports than I could count and I'm doing something totally different now and getting a better body than that.  wow is this real?

I started taking Atripila awhile ago and my neuropathy has gotten worse. It's gotten to the point that every day life is a challenge dealing with the pain that comes with it. The morphine seems to dull the pain yet now its not strong enough and I'm taking a lot all ready more than you could imagine daily.  Managing it with my mind can be tricky for when I win, I win and when I fail well it's not pretty. 

The only thing I can see making this condition worse is the medicine. When I stop it 4 – 5 days latter it goes back to normal when I take it the very next day it's untolerable. I've talked to my Dr. about it and he says there is no reports of it making neuropathy worse and wants me to continue it.  It has raised my T-cells up to 300 now and my viral load is low.  However is it worth that much pain?  No

Today I called my Dr. and told him I quiet taking it. I've done what he asked which was to start it again and see what happens.  I thought okay no issue perhaps he is right and it's something else. To wake up in the pain that I woke up in the last 3 days is not worth it.  

When I got home yesterday I lost it completely and I had to ask my brother to feed my dog and cats all because I couldn't hold a spoon. I could bearly tolerate the weight of my cloths to say the least my feet touching anything at all. I had to ask a friend to spend the night not really telling them why just I needed them.  No it's not worth it.

I know that there are other meds out and I will have to look into the others before I say yes and see what else is there.  It's time to change.

Besides that I am happy life is going great, I feel good as long as I can take myself outside the pain I am great.  When I don't I can barely move and I can't give in to the pain I know I can win.  I choose to enjoy life as much as I can all the time that I can. Yes change is good and it's time to change.