Thanks, Firefox, for making me type this all over again.
I'm reading a book right now-that I'd REALLY like to recommend.
Actually, I'd like to recommend, in general, the author-Cornelia Read.
Her characters' voices are smart and witty, savvy, and hold an amazing sense of sarcastic realism that you can relate to.
The genre is: Adult Mystery. I recommend “A Field of Darkness” or “The Crazy School”
Anyways, for the past day since my last blog, I've been holding the mentality of my goal-
to get past my episodes, get past this “depression” or technical hold-back -mentality,
and get help for this life.
Unfortunately, it's almost as if something erupted, and made me feel worse.
It's as if the harder I try, the harder it fights back. I had an episode last night in which I carved out my arm.
It makes me scared, as I realize that each time I have an “episode” or date with SI,
it gets worse each time. I'm afraid of what will happen if I let them unfold, and don't get help.
What's worse, my dad doesn't believe me. He won't allow me to get any therapy,
so that's egging on my fear.
With no job to pay for anything, with no car or lisence to drive anywhere,
I have to get this right with my parents.
Thanks for yesterday's words and comments, I'll reply those in a moment.
Have an amazing day, Depression Tribe.
If you have advice for hopefully suggesting anything to my parents, [especially my father],
I'd like to hear it.
If I go through therapy, I'd have to bring up the topic of the sexual abuse,
and I have a hunch that that's what's holding my father back.
Enjoy your friday. 🙂