So I haven't worked since saturday, I had a migrane from hell for 3 days so it was pretty quiet.

Then yesterday I decided I needed a change so I went and picked up some hair dye, unfortunately the bleaching kit I bought wasn't powerful enough so I had to go back to the store for a different one (My poor hair…) The second trip to the store I was walking because I couldn't get a ride, so I put on my music and shut out the world around me. On my way home from the store I was standing at an intersection waiting for the light to allow me to cross safely, it took around 20 minutes for some reason and I was getting pretty anxious…

That is until a song came on that caught my attention, I knew the lyrics but I never payed that much attention to it before. Needless to say I started singing and dancing, no one could hear the song but they could hear me singing and they looked at me like I was crazy but in that moment I didn't care.

I sent D a text telling him people think I am crazy and explained why and he thought it was pretty funny, and the only thought that came to my mind was "D would have loved to have been here to see this."

When I was younger and my anxiety wasn't as bad I used to sing and dance all the time and D loved it. Last night reminded me of why I would dance and sing in public when I was younger without too much fear, and this realization has inspired me.

From now on if a song I love comes on I will force myself to sing and dance to it and try to ignore the people around me. I used to be charismatic, and I need to go back to being so, I need to fight this constant fear and anxiety… Life is too short for this crap, I have to do something now before it is too late.

"Forget about the past, dont worry about the future, live in the now and find peace." – Taken from a letter I wrote to D.