The big question of the week is "Is it really gone for good now?"

I've had some pretty good days–at least a couple and I'm scared about letting myself get excited. There are still some kinks that need to be worked out of it, but I'm hoping that since it seems to be the crazy birth control pill that was doing this to me that maybe as the weeks go on, or less favorably, months, I'll keep seeing a difference each time–a good difference 🙂

Today I spent hours soaking in the sun, listening to good ole' 90s music with my sweet little corgi/australian shepherd. Reading some Mortal Instruments, working on dialogue, description, and some character development made my day seem fairly productive. At least, I feel so. Of course, the nagging at the back of my brain continues: "What if you feel bad? What if you freak out? What if it comes back? What if it always comes back?"

So here we are. I don't want to listen to that god-awful voice. Even though it makes so much sense, I have never been logical and as many people that have told me to be "logical" about the situation, I think–no, I believe–it's time to allow my born ability to live in the hope that comes in unreality and ignore that logical voice that keeps telling me that all odds are stacked against me; that I need to face the facts of my experience with this issue. I'm getting better and even though I might have another bad day, bad week, bad month, I will get well. With no medication. With no dependencies. I will rock this thing and be the strong, determined, (stubborn) dream-believing woman I once was.

Woo!

Now…tomorrow this may be biting me on the butt… :/