This is an answerfrom my friends Mom, as I wrote her yesterday in a very deep sad time.. so it doesn't make me ok with losing her with out a word, it does help to know that my friend is ok.
I do not have an answer for you. Amanda is an ever changing person. For whatever reason, it may be part of her illness and just part of her personality, she can be very close to me at times and others I just keep my distance unless I am worried about her mental state. I would like to have more contact with her myself, but I can not force the issue. She knows I will always be there when she needs me.
I know you did nothing to offend her, believe me when I say she is just moving in a different direction right now. Alex really seems to occupy much of her time. And I believe she is doing well emotionally.
Please find comfort in knowing Amanda is well and does not have ill feelings towards you. As I stated earlier, Amanda can change rather suddenly. Pat and I have learned to observe and try to be aware unusual behavior with Amanda, but can most certainly not force an issue with her. She will let us know what she wants us to know.
I do not have the history that you have to deal with, but please live your life for you. There will most always be pain when you pour too many emotions into any one individual. I adore all three of my children, but have learned from each one, that just loving them does not cure all.
On a lighter note, I always tell my children when they complain about one thing or another, "Life Sucks, get used to it. Enjoy the good times when you can, it can all change in a heart beat".