I have accomplished absolutely nothing this entire weekend. No dishes, no laundry, no cleaning of the house. I didn't even cook really, unless you call heating up frozen pizza and putting poptarts in the toaster cooking. I don't. That's really all we've had to eat all weekend. Pizza, poptarts and microwave popcorn. Oh and cereal, of course.
Even my personal hygeine has taken a nosedive. And I don't care. Oh I will get in the shower here shortly. But only because I have to work tomorrow. If not for that one goal, I doubt I would have the motivation to even do that.
Last night I was up til 3 am, unable to sleep. Then broken sleep off and on until 2:30 pm today. I'm ready to crawl back into bed already. My kids are the best, they do a fairly good job of letting me sleep in. And they're old enough that they can get themselves something to snack on when they are hungry. I feel guilty that I've not been there for them like I know I should be.
Why does depression have to suck the life out of you? I'm exhausted all the time and I just don't care enough to try most of the time. I mentioned being tired all the time to my grandmother. She says, "I hope there's nothing seriously wrong with you." "I know there is!" I reply, in a way that was intended to get a chuckle. It worked and the subject was dropped. But I was really only half joking.
It's worse at night for me. Does anyone else have this, where it's not too bad in the mornings, but gets worse as the day drags on? Even in the few hours I've been awake, I notice a big drop in energy. Four cups of coffee didn't help either.
I guess I have to get up now and clean my stinky self. Half of me wants to say forget it. The other half recognizes that I really do need a shower. Badly.
Blah. I don't wanna…
– WomanScorned 1/27/13