Hi im new to this site but i think this is what I need right about now to VENT !! Im 21 years old and i have been living with anxiety and panic for 9 months now. I had my first Panic attack the week my little and only sister passed away. That whole week i drank beer with family and cried in a room by my self everyday. Everything made me think about her. I didnt know how to deal with my problems. I chose to smoke some weed and i guess i smoked to much because i started feeling something like wind flowing around in my head and it scared me. I PANICKED and thats what brought on the Panic Attack. I didnt know what the heck was going on i just started out the door to the car telling my brother and uncle to take me to the hospital. My vision was blurry, heart pounding, couldnt hardly breath, it was horrifying. I got to the hospital and they told me i had a Panick Attack. My family was worried bcuz it was an emotional time for us all. I was perscribed Lorazapan for sleep. After a couple days i started feeling like all these different symptoms not knowing what they were. I tried to take a vacation to my aunts house in atlanta but i ended up going to the hospital. I was scared to go to sleep, didnt want to brush my teeth, bathe or even socialize as much. When i got back home the symptoms got worse. everything scared me and i felt like nobody understood me or what i was going through. My mom took me to a psychiatric hospital and they evaluated me and decide i should stay overnight. They diagnosed me with anxiety.  While i was there i got to meet other people who had the same problems i had dealing with depression , anxiety, and panic. with the medcine and group meetings i got better in a week. I even met someone there who was the same age as me. That reassured me that i wasnt the only person dealing with anxiety. After i was released from the hospital i was faced with being in the real world. I was taking my medicine but i felt anxious all the time and i felt like my family members didnt understand me and didnt want to deal with my problems. I felt alone. I started reading the bible more and going back to church. Bible reading everyday kept me busy and doing things to keep my mind off anxious thoughts. I was doing fine for awhile but then i had no insurance from quitting school. I couldnt go see my psychiatrist and i was no longer getting the medicine i needed. This had been going on for almost two months. i was anxious all the time , having palpatations, scared to go to sleep. worried about every little thing i was feeling in my body. I felt like i had no help or support. I live with my brother who is a year older than me. My mother and father have been seperated since i was young. My father wont help me because he doesnt understand. My mother is fed up with me. I have GOD and my grandmother tries to help me. I have no insurance and ive been really anxious lately. Ive been to the er almost 4 or 5 times bcuz i was scared something was wrong from me having untreated anxiety for almost two months. I asked for the medicine i was taking before and a doctor wrote a pescription but it doesnt help. I feel like im self medicating. Now i cant get the help i had before , I have to go to the Pheonix center. Thats better than nothing but I feel like idk what to do. im hoping and praying this is just anxiety and nothing serious. I havent been checked for problems in months. I feel like im becoming DEPRESSED. Sometimes i wanna just run away. I FEEL LIKE NOBODY LISTENS OR CARES.  My mother can help me but she wont. Im back in school and she wont put me back on the insurance. I love my family but I FEEL LIKE NO ONE CARES. I CANT HELP BUT THINK IMA GO CRAZY SOMETIMES…..