i am new to the tribe. I am also new to being sober from marijuana. For most of my life I believed that it wasn't addictive… until I couldn't stop. I am now pregnant with my Second child (just found out about a week ago), and I immediately stopped smoking weed and cigarettes. This is not easy, as I am already conditioned to using the weed to feel better. My pregnancy is making me really want to cure alot of the sickness, hormones, and crankiness with a bowl. I quit during my first pregnancy after smoking for about 6 years straight, multiple times a day. I was clean until I stopped breastfeeding my son, and with the postpartum depression came the cravings again. So I began smoking, telling myself it wouldn't become a habit again… (I know, a typical addict right. One is too many, but never enough). I am starting my sophomore year of college, so I am hoping this will definitely take my mind off of the cravings. My son is the greatest joy I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing.
The hard about this is going to be staying sober after the baby is born, not during. I am very strict about myself during pregnancy (same as I was with my first one). Even concerning things like food, caffeine, second hand cigarette smoke, etc. So while I may be absolutely miserable, this is not a choice, it is a must-do.
We went to the doc's visit today. Turns out I am not far enough along to even see the baby yet! So I hae to go back in 2 weeks to get a measure on the baby and figure out how far along I am. We are so excited for the new addition to the family. I am hoping that we will be at leas past the first month.
I also suffer from depression and anxiety. Which I am sure is part of the problem with my addiction. I have joined this group for support and to support others that are going through the same as me. All comments (nice only please!) are welcomed :). Will write again soon!
Dear Katy, my name is JJ and i am an addict. your stopping all substances is just as important to you as it is to your new baby. You have to make the choice as to what is more important to you. drugs or life? i have a few days clean and i used for 22 years of my life. but today there is an easier way out, if there are any NA meetings where you live then instead of smoking the dope, why not check out a meeting or two and see if you can't meet some ladies that can help you with what your going through. stopping is the easy part staying stopped is the hard part. i have managed to stay clean for 22 years now but it is only because of the people i have met in my journey of recovery and the people i hang out with now. find some recovery meetings get some phone numbers from the ladies there and call them when you need to. which in the beginning is a lot. i know it's not easy but what other choices do you have? to get clean you have got to change your playmates, playthings and playplaces. put down the dope, start praying to the God of your understanding. we all started right where you are. please start finding the excuse to not use in stead of making up reasons to use. there are some great ladies on this site and i hope they read your struggles. i can only offer you suggestions. i have posted over 200 blogs on my site maybe you can get some suggestions from one of them that will help you in beginning your new way of life. I am always on here at least once a day. i will be gone for the next two days to an NA convention. but i will be home later on sunday. i will send you a friends request. please for the sake of the rest of your life, your family and the people who care for you seek help today. stay clean and be good to yourself. you deserve better than what you have now. please feel free to write to me anytime.
NA hugs,
JJ