Hello everyone, When I am working on the farm by the end of the day I am tired and dusty.  But I am satisfied knowing that everyone is safe for the night…. What I am really looking forward to is being inside with Bob, Tony and Cleo.  For some reason, when we are all home together, I feel complete and content….  On my way through the front door I usually start off with an enthusiastic, “Honey I’m home!”  This of course,  is totally unnecessary since Cleo and Tony are already there, antsy with pent up energy and demanding my immediate attention and affection .  🙂
~♥~
I am usually greeted with a blended mix of meows, purring and endless twisting around my ankles.  Tony is the most vocal so he usually starts, “Meow, purr, meow, purr ….”  I respond with my typical answer, “Really, are you sure you did not get enough napping time?”

Tony voices his usual response, “Meow”…

“Really? I thought you too worked that out?”

“Meow”

“Okay, okay can I put these things down first?” as I head toward the kitchen.  They are twinning around my feet so I need to step carefully.  I continue my side of the conversation with a sarcastic, “Okay, now who wants the first belly rub?”

Tony is, as usual, determined and persistent and gets to me first. “Meow” is his clear demand.

And now Cleo chimes in with a somehow more stringent voice “Meow”! I don’t know how but her voice seems to have a bit more of a “twang” to it.  They are both still eager for affection and I have two hands, so I get busy with petting and playing… soon both seem content and are leading me into the kitchen.  When all three of them are crunching in their food bowls I head to my bedroom. (It almost feels weird being back on the farm, the apartment is what feels like “home” for me now.)  After a quick rinse in the shower I change into my comfy “Iris” clothes.   Black tights under a roomy chocolate brown skirt, my long hair up in a french braid, some “curves” in my newest burgundy bra and a light peach long sleeve top.  Of course I ruin this outfit with my light work boots, I need to finish some chores outside….

As I head to the front door I continue our conversation as if it never stopped,”Okay, okay, but I need to go back out and bring in more groceries, and then check all of the gates with Bob.”  Who of course raises his head, turning towards me at the sound of his voice, and rising from his usual napping spot near the stove in the living room.  Bob’s voice is low and deep, “Woooooof, wooof, woof” trailing off as he pushes open the front door with his shoulder.  His tail is always wagging when we are together…

Things have been going “okay” for a while now…. not great but not bad either….. At times I feel like I get”stuck” in my head, and this is never a good thing.  I have a tendency to get gloomy, blue…. you know, feeling down about myself….  Feeling critical about my continuing efforts to reduce my drinking, which, due in part to my stubborn nature, has been somewhat successful.  🙂  I am down from about ten drinks a day to two a day…  That is better right?  You know that when I mention how much I used to drink, I am not bragging, I am still amazed at how bad my drinking got.  It was a slow and gradual decline and I imagine the return climb to living in sobriety will also take a while..  I am still tired of feeling tired.
~♥~
Sending all of you a “thanks” for being supportive and offering words of encouragemenr!  I really need some “cheerleaders” to keep me going.  As always, I extend my invitation to send me a message, I would love to hear from more of you…. And I promise a quick response within a day or two…..
~♥~
I am still feeling depressed, but less so with the latest adjustment to my meds.  Tonight my mood improves as soon as I am under a light blanket, a book and cup of tea at hand.  I know that soon Tony, unless he is sleeping in a different room, will be stretched out between my knees.  He is great at keeping my legs warm.  🙂  Also sending out some growing smiles, a comforting hug, a contented yawn, peace, love and prayers.  –  Iris