I feel so overwhelmed right now…I don\'t know what to do. It seems everytime I meet a guy shit happens. I didn\'t even ask for this. He came outta nowhere and started to pursue me. He just broke up with his gf and I told him I didn\'t want to be his rebound. When he finally reassured me that I wasn\'t he fucked off for 2 weeks. Said he needed space…Then he txts me and I forgive him. We even went on our first legit date. I go outta town drinking with some friends and I ask if we are gunna chill the next day. He\'s like I like hanging out with you but I need time….WTF does that mean? I feel like he\'s jerking me around. Even though I know he\'s hurting and he does need time but how is this remotely fair for me? I never asked for him to do this to me. All the while he isn\'t ready to choose between me and his ex. And ex\'s always win. I feel like shit. Cuz this has happened to me before…I keep getting involved with guys who pursue me but when I\'m finally ready to be with them they fuck off. They tell me some bullshit reason and I never hear from them agian…
On top of this she\'s moving here while I\'m moving away…My roomie is selling his house and I can\'t afford much so now I have to move to a different city and I just got to this place. I finally got the courage to move out of my parents because where I lived before I was going nowhere, my life was stagnant. Now I\'m finally comfortable and now I have to move even farther away…And I like it here. So I\'m just stressing out over everything. I\'m overthinking like crazy!
Why can\'t I just find someone who only likes me? Why can\'t I ever be first? I\'m always second best. I feel like I\'m broken. I\'m too nice of a person, and I always get taken advantage of. I\'m so drained…I don\'t know what I\'m doing wrong. Like I don\'t want to pressure him but at the same time I feel like I\'m being jerked around. It\'s all good when we are together. And he\'s like we need to take things slow if we are to date. I don\'t even know what that means! So are you moving on? UGH!
Cuz they broke up on Canada day and we started "hanging out" like a week after that I guess. He\'s been with her for four years and she cheated on him and he tried to work it out and she broke up with him. He told me later that they broke up cuz she wanted them to do their own thing. Or something like that. Can\'t remember exactly what he said since I was an emotional wreck.
I\'m so confused….lost, and broken. Part of me wants to stay here because of him…the other part is because I do like it here. He\'s going to go to the riggs eventually I think, I don\'t know. They keep pushing back his start date. He\'s also having major family issues….So I\'m trying to understand his point of view but it\'s getting harder and harder. I\'m so exhausted.
I want to tell him I can\'t do this anymore but I know that will just drive him more to his ex. I just want to walk away. But then at the back of my mind is what if we end up together? and I\'m just to impatient? I don\'t want to pressure him. But if he really liked me he would want to be with me right? I\'m so fucked up right now.
