I've never said this out loud or anything because I didn't want to blame this person. The one time I did, no one took me seriously. I want to just put it down and maybe see it in a different perspective?

When I was 13/14 I began seeing a psychiatrist for depression. He was insanely awesome (or so I thought) because I could say anything and do anything without being lectured. Some things were completely wrong and usually kids are "punished" for that. I got away with all of it. He earned my trust and I felt this "bond" with him. I was 14 and didn't know any better. I had his emergency number for when I needed it and I used it! I was always being reassured and he adjusted meds a few times on the phone. I self injured a lot and got away with that. *Because of my faith, I did quit. I haven't SI'd in years* I leaned on him for everything.

I was also being mentally and emotionally abused and forced to see him. It was the "only way" they could "get me to go" (not true). I have a feeling he knew. I showed up looking like a wreck one day I was crying so hard my face was swollen. He had my mother come back after my sessions to get her perspective. He asked me if anything was wrong and I said no. I didn't want my parents in trouble. I was in my "comfort zone" even though it was bad. I was abusing drugs with my anti depressants and he knew. After two years it came out when my mom came back. He broke confindentiality and had every right too. I see that now. He told me I needed to find a new psychiatrist that they could help me better since we were going nowhere. After 6 years.

I won't lie, it hurt, I cried a lot almost like a heartbreak. Now I see a new psychiatrist and i feel like everything is crashing and breaking around me. I'm terrified. He's new. He treats me differently. He hasn;t read my chart *which is huge*. I'm not used to not having someone to fall back on. I've matured i see I did so many wrong things and secrets were kept.

Could someone tell me what a psychaitrist is usually like? What happens next? Thank you so much in advance

2 Comments
  1. sleepygirl 10 years ago

    First of all let me just say I am so sorry that your psychiatrist dropped you like that. It sounds like he was thinking of this from a business standpoint and felt as though he could not do anything else for you and was taking your parents money for nothing. But what he didn\'t realize was that sometimes it helps to just have someone listen and be supportive.
    Secondly it sounds like you need to get a different psychiatrist if this one has not even looked at your chart. Talk to your Mom about it and let her know you would like to see someone who knows your situation and will actually do their job (not looking at the chart is *huge*, you are right).
    Thirdly it sounds like you feel like it is your fault for not working with the 1st psychiatrist enough. You have to remember he is a professional, had you worked with him he may have released you earlier or perhaps it would have prolonged the sessions just a bit longer, but he wasn\'t there because he loves you like your Mom, he was doing these sessions because he was getting paid and I do beleive he cared, but he had to keep it on a business level. Remember it is his job to help people.

    Everything is going to be OK. Trust your Mom and keep communication with her. You might find the same kind of relationship can be found at home with a family member.

    God Bless!

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  2. SeptemberEnds 10 years ago

    Thank you everyone! It helps to know I\'m not alone. It seems like a big deal to me, maybe it\'s not really that bad.

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