I miss everything about you :'( so much!!!!! I can stay strong for so long but this hurts! you can’t even understand it because your gone…. you know how many times I’ve just wanted to do it too? The only time I didn’t want to do it I was put in a mental hospital because people thought I wanted to do it. I wish I wasn’t so fucked! and no that’s not all on you that’s mostly on my mom…. I blame her because of er mistakes but I still feel terrible saying it… cause she is trying but me and her do nothing but fight now… I am not nice anymore. I can’t even be close to my family… I hate myself now… I really do. I miss you I do…………..in just 13days it’ll have been 3 years….. I just want to curl up in a ball and never move… its not like I ever am able to fall asleep at night anyways…..

won’t let me post this cause theres not enough words so uhm I died my hair. it’s black again… it was black when I first met my boyfriend. and me and him both missed my black hair so now it’s black again I haven’t shown him yet I’m going to show him in person when I see him again. which will hopefully be in a couple days. Maybe tomorrow after I bring in the wood. He doesn’t feel good so I’ll probs stop at the store to get him ginger ale crackers or something that’ll make hime feel better… I have a kitty cat. I got the cat when I lived with him so it’s really mine and his cat… But his parents won’t let me move back in so he doesn’t get to see her anymore it’s sad 🙁