I am sad today as I have been for the past months. I am going crazy because I have nobody to talk to. My life is heading down this path that I am scared of and I do not know what to do. I just started school and I am in the Masters program my dream is to become a teacher and work with kids that are socially and emotionally disturbed. How ironic, I am choosing a carrer that I myself have become a part of. I have suffered with anxiety since I could remember. However it has gotten to the point where I cannot give a presentation or speak to classmates. I get so nervous that I just freeze and whatever comes out of my mouth is just unbalievable. I sound like a complete idiot. . . I dont know what to do, I feel lost and I feel like a loser. I cant believe that I have worked this hard to get where I am and every night I cry myself to sleep because I know that I am going to fail. This anxiety is robbing me of everything.. I cant comprehend how this could happen I noticed that over the years I became very shy and now I just want to stay home and not do anything I try to work on my homework and I do but as far as my presentations I just feel my heart starting to pump fast and I cant concentrate I begin to cry because I feel so ashamed of myself. I sit in front of my computer crying because I just cant bear the thought of speaking in public or being apart of a group. It is a terrible feeling that I dont wish on anyone ever.I have never been an A student but Iwork very hard for my grades very very hard.. Im just lost and I reallydont see thelight at the end of thetunnel or the silver linningshinningthrough. . . . . . .

1 Comment
  1. angkit88 10 years ago

    anni, I completely understand where you\'re coming from. Because of my anxiety, I had to enroll in an online school. My graduation is this week and it\'s over the webcam on my lap top. That way i can do it in the comfort of my own home. Maybe check into doing school online? As for the whole wanting to stay home, I\'m the same way. If it weren\'t for my fiance, I would be home all the time, which I basically am already, but I mean…I\'d never go to the store, out of town to visit family, nothing. If you need someone to talk to, talk to me any time. As of right now I\'m not in school or working. I\'m between both. Shoot me a message if you\'d like. Cheer up 🙂

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