The Lost has been found…I think. I feel like I have woken from a multi-year sleep in which I was emotionally blank. I feel there is something wrong with my life, it is right in front of me, and I have refused to see it.

Could it be that I'm still single? Maybe

Could it be that I'm working at a job that doesn't recognize mental health as an important aspect of well being? Maybe

Maybe I'm entering mislife crisis stage? Perhaps

I know what it is yet I don't know if that makes sense. I have refused to see it…it doesn't accept that and is festering. The longer it festers the more it bothers me. It's now bothering me to the point to be a major concern since it's affecting my moods. if I don't make an attempt to see what I don't wish to see…it will de-stablize me to a point that I don't wish to see.

Kind of seems like I'm rambling, doesn't it? Sometimes that's the best way for me to remove clutter and get to the truth.

(Listening to music with eyes closed)

It's a love song, I …

I think my issue might be Love. Lack of Love that is. Someone I thought was going to be a great friend…misunderstood some things I sent her…stopped being my friend. I'm wondering…can I be loved? Seems stupid to me, other friends love me and care about me…that can't be it…It is…Shit, that's it…my actions lately confirm it.

How the H do I answer a question like "Can I be Loved"? What proof could I possibly show on such a *sigh* major topic? Apparently I don't take my own word for it or it wouldn't be an issue.

*shrug*

1 Comment
  1. gphonse357 11 years ago

    Hey man, I know how you feel. Facing your fears is half the battle, then identifying the problem and seeking an active solution is the other half. Most of us can\'t get passed the first half. Perhaps you are feeling some shame, guilt, or doubt about yourself.It probably stems from something that was done to you, or something that you did. Perhaps it was something that you didn\'t do.

    I think that once things get to a point when it\'s affecting you daily, you should get help real soon. We are hesitant though because we don\'t want to be shamefully embarrassed or face our own mortality face to face. Keep taking things day to day. Sometimes, the minor improvements we make in our personal lives, will keep us hopeful and keep us going. Keep the hope alive and put in the work.

    -G

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