> >> MATRIMONY
> >> You have two choices in life:
> >> You can stay single and be miserable,
> >> or get married and wish you were dead.
> >> __________
> >> At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
> >> "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
> >> "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
> >> __________
> >> A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
> >> "Husband Wanted".
> >> Next day she received a hundred letters.
> >> They all said the same thing:
> >> "You can have mine."
> >> __________
> >> When a woman steals your husband,
> >> there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
> >> __________
> >> A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
> >> _________
> >> A little boy asked his father,
> >> "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
> >> Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
> >> __________
> >> A young son asked,
> >> "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
> >> a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> >> Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
> >> __________
> >> Then there was a woman who said,
> >> "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
> >> and by then, it was too late."
> >> __________
> >> Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
> >> __________
> >> If you want your spouse to listen and
> >> pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.
> >>
> >> __________
> >> Just think, if it weren't for marriage,
> >>
> >> men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
> >> __________
> >> First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
> >> Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
> >> _________
> >>
> >> AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE!!!
> >>
> >> Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
> >> children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus
> >> arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids
> >> are able to fit onto the bus.
> >>
> >> So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
> >> husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as
> >> he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a
> >> piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is
> >> driving me crazy."
> >>
> >> The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR
> >> stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the heck up.
> >>
> >>