13.02.2017
Today in my university i have started my last semester in medical school , anyhow back to today , i started my classes at the otolaryngology department today i did not see any patients , i just had classes like theoretical ones, one was about nose bleeding and the other one about facial nerve paralysis , it was good day and the doctors later made us watch some movies about ent examination , i still have the anxiety and i think its increasing this semester , because im afraid of failing. the other i will be back mostly to saudi arabia after graduation because im on scholarship , but im planning to go there for one year have my internship and apply once again to other scholarship to do residency in dermatology i hope things work well for this semester , about my ocd what im noticing right now its mostly something to do with people faces and their facial movements , very annoying , im trying to ignore but its very annoying , what else i have this wired feeling in my hands like its feels so heavy and spastic what ever its called , im afraid also of talking to myself in public. in of the story afraid of everything , but i know it always like that the end of things are scary the beginning of new things is mostly scary all of us need some time to adapt to new life situations , unfortunately not everything is easy, everyone needs to keep going to catch their goals. hopefully things will be fine.

14.02.2017
Today was my second day at the otolaryngology ward , i have seen a surgery of a man with a tumor in his tongue , they had to cut half of his tongue and reconstructed the tongue with skin, muscles and nerves from his arm. later on I went to the clinic and I have seen a man with recurrent laryngeal cancer , the man nearly lost his voice and tumor is obstructing is so big and obstructing with his breathing. after the classes me and my colleague went out for lunch , its long time i have not go anywhere with someone so it was strange feeling ,like i feel like the old me , i dont know what is the difference between the old me and the new me , anyway my plans for today is to go to fix my nails and go out with the dog for a walk , just im trying not to think about graduation so much and for sure about going back to saudi arabia and doing the internship there , my plans were to try to graduate and do the internship in poland and later and do the speciality here , but since the center for languages can not register me before having my diploma and they also wants me to wait for about 6 months to do the test in medical polish language and im not sure will pass that exam or not , its better just to go back for one year and apply again for another scholarship to specialize
15.02.2017
Today was my third day at the otolaryngology ward, me and my group went to the dr at the operating theater. we have seen a man with recurrent laryngeal cancer who needed to have biopsy , it was the first time for me to see anesthesia done through the opening in the trachea. i think its called trichostomy , the patient also had voice parthesis so he can talk because his larynx was removed , the procedure was not clear for me.later on we went back in the clinics and we had the opportunity to do ENT examination on each other.
16.02.2017
Today is my fourth day at the otolaryngology ward , first i had classes something like a lecture it was complicated and i did not understand anything ,later we went to the dr she is very nice doctor we have seen a man with a mass in his neck the mass was very big and scary , the dr think its cancer and tomorrow the patient will have operation to remove the mass and the results will appear in 3 weeks i hope it will not be cancer , later the doctor showed us some ct images, later we finished classes around 3 p.m
i had lunch with my colleague, i went back to the apartment i spend my time watching tv and then i walk the dog and now i will sleep hope tomorrow will be good.
17.02.2017
Today was my fifth day at the otolaryngology ward i spent it at the operating theater i have seen trichostomy of a man who had intubation for long time it was good opportunity to see , i really like the dr who is teaching us she is good doctor and nice person.
20.02.2017
Today i started the second week of the otolaryngology ward it was long day we started first with a seminar it was about rhinites it was not that long
later we went to search for the dr , she were in the operating theater , we did not see anything because when we went there she was already finished ,we went back to the ward we saw a man who lost his larynx due to laryngeal cancer , we actually saw 2 men , one was with laryngeal cancer and dr said they can not operate on his because the tumor is too large or something
and the second man they had to change his voice prothesis , its strange thing they injected into the trachea so the patient could talk , that was for today.
22.02.2017
Today was the third day of the second week at the otolaryngology ward.we had seminar at first it was about cancer of the pharynx and larynx, later on we went to look for the doctor we saw a patient with recurrent lesion in the vocal cord. The dr said it might be lukoplakia which is precancerous lesion and the patient had previous leukoplakia before and it was removed by laser , the patient will have biopsy and hopefully it will be the same diagnosis. later we went to the emergency room we saw a lot of patient , honestly i dont remember them all , i just remember a patient with nose bleed , other with mastoidites and what else i dont remember all of them. thats all for today , yesterday i was absent because i could not wake up.