“Hi everyone. This is a blog I’m going to be keeping up in an effort to do something positive for community that needs it. I’ve put forth the goal of writing a book, based solely on my experience as a human being, a victum of self and slayer of my personal goliath. I am not a seasoned writer but I do have something to say and there is no more appropriate audience than here.

My thoughts may be random at times and I expect some of you to have feedback you want to share. Please post it only on my blog here, and always reference what you are giving me the feedback on. This is a hard deal to keep organized so I’m going to need a little help from the readers. With that said, here is my opening statement.”

-randall-

One. Two. Three. Four. You look up to notice the second hand move in unison with your heartbeat. It’s January and you live in the North-Eastern part of the states. It’s about 50 degrees in your classroom. It’s english. Your chest is warm. “Why?” Your wearing a short sleeve t-shirt and you should be cold, yours hands and feet are. As your teacher drones on you start focusing on the clock. Why are you so impatient? You all of a sudden feel your stomach churn. That didn’t feel very good. “Am I going to be sick?” You sure feel like it. Your heart is now two ticks of the clock; then four; then eight! What the hell is happening? “What’s wrong with me?” You try and calm down, scanning the room to see if anyone else notices your condition. The kid next to you asks you if your alright. “I don’t know.” Then it hits you like a brick wall. It is the apex of sensations never felt before. You calmly ask your teacher if you can use the restroom. You take your books with you. You walk down the empty corridor, out the door and then home. You are now shaking violently, uncontrollably. You are hyper-ventilating. You are nauseous, scared and alone. Your parents are at work. “Am I dying?”

Perception: the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.(Source: Dictionary.com)

Expert medical staff has related the series of events that occur while having a panic attack to that which the body behaves like while going into self-preservation mode. In other words, a panic attack is your body’s reaction to your mind telling it that you are indeed in danger of dying. The first key, I believe, is to understand the issue in all available lengths. And how you percieve things is the most important lesson of all. It is the reason these panic attacks happen in the first place.

The first entry was how my, and many other peoples, experience with a panic attack first happend. You were doing nothing out of the ordinary. There were no extenuating circumstances. It just happend. And from that day you understand 2 things. You didn’t like it and you need to figure out what and why it happend.

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