This is my first blog so bear with me. I am an addict but theres more to me than that but I’m here to write about my addiction because it gets overwhelming. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I need is some hope.I’m in a relapse cycle, there is so much to celebrate but I’m enclosed in my addiction, close captive. I’m always looking at what I need to do and forget about what I’ve done for the day for my sobriety. I should be enjoying my new place, time spent with my family, the sight of my dog and a new job but sometime I just say “fuck it” and I use. I should be sick of it by now but I go back to it every other day. the party stopped years ago so there’s no reason to use but I still go back to it like it helps me but it doesn’t. I want a new life, I want to wake up with purpose. Their is a reason why I am here and I want to find out why am I here. Who can I share this life with? I don’t want to get sober over night, I just want to peel off all the layers one by one, so I get to remember who I am and who I was before the drugs. Jesus sacrificed his life so we don’t have to suffer. I’m slowly emerging out of the pool of sin and addiction and emerging into a new me.