I am wondering about the role of surrender in the recovery process.  Certainly my experience tells me that it was surrender that opened me to the possibilities of recovery.  It is ongoing surrender that allows me to stay in recovery.  So the wondering is really about how one is brought to the point of surrender.  Again my experience tells me that when "I was beaten I became wiling".  When I looked in the mirror and saw a dead girl standing, when I could see what had become of me, when I saw what my child's life would be like if I kept using, I gave up and recieved help.  Was it the objections from my family that planted the seed, helped me to see?  I am not sure.  So how do I help others reach the point of surrender?  Do I confront the behavior?  Do I share my story, hoping that they will relate?  Do I wait patiently hoping that they "get this" before addiction "gets them" one final time? 

For me surrender was like a penny flipping sides…tails up and then ..flip…heads up….It seemed almost imedeate..the things that changed, the realizations I had about myself, recovery and staying clean.  As if I had been in a dark room and suddenly someone had turned on the light.  There were behaviors that I could no longer do.  I know a male sponsor was a bad Idea.  I wanted to work steps and get to know myself, rid myself of defects, live in God's will, be more spiritual.  But surrender was not something I planned, It happened to my, it was not a consious decision on my part("Oh so today is the day I will surender and start living a better life")…Interesting…

So the miricle is still quit amazing to me.  I still view my abstinence as a gift from my HP.  I am grateful that I wake up free from obsession (most days) and have not used for 26 years….