I am wondering about the role of surrender in the recovery process.  Certainly my experience tells me that it was surrender that opened me to the possibilities of recovery.  It is ongoing surrender that allows me to stay in recovery.  So the wondering is really about how one is brought to the point of surrender.  Again my experience tells me that when "I was beaten I became wiling".  When I looked in the mirror and saw a dead girl standing, when I could see what had become of me, when I saw what my child's life would be like if I kept using, I gave up and recieved help.  Was it the objections from my family that planted the seed, helped me to see?  I am not sure.  So how do I help others reach the point of surrender?  Do I confront the behavior?  Do I share my story, hoping that they will relate?  Do I wait patiently hoping that they "get this" before addiction "gets them" one final time? 

For me surrender was like a penny flipping sides…tails up and then ..flip…heads up….It seemed almost imedeate..the things that changed, the realizations I had about myself, recovery and staying clean.  As if I had been in a dark room and suddenly someone had turned on the light.  There were behaviors that I could no longer do.  I know a male sponsor was a bad Idea.  I wanted to work steps and get to know myself, rid myself of defects, live in God's will, be more spiritual.  But surrender was not something I planned, It happened to my, it was not a consious decision on my part("Oh so today is the day I will surender and start living a better life")…Interesting…

So the miricle is still quit amazing to me.  I still view my abstinence as a gift from my HP.  I am grateful that I wake up free from obsession (most days) and have not used for 26 years….

 

2 Comments
  1. Toxic1 14 years ago

    For me it took the gift of desperation to surrender. When I was in enough pain I surrendered my will. I still do that today. And it was/is a decision, for me. To admit defeat, meaning I admit I am an addict, and that my DISEASE had control not me, that was one form of surrender.

    Now I don't always have to be in great pain to surrender, I can see myself heading down a road that will lead me to where I don't want to be, so I pray and ask my HP to take my will my life and I surrender again, sometimes it happens every five minutes in one day, others I surrender once and am able to leave it in my Higher Powers hands.

    Thanks for sharing your experiance with me!

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  2. jjrocksarizona 14 years ago

    the key to Serenity is surrender. surrendering to the fact that i have a disease and the true problem is not my disease it's ME!!!!!!!!!!! the only way to actually getting peace and serenity in your joureny of recovery is by surrendering. stay clean, be good to yourself and stay focused on the main objective.

     

    NA hugs,

     

    JJ

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