Just read the responses to my last blog about the drugs, I know you are all right, i know it was stupid, and irresponsible of me and i know iv put myself in and un necessary position that could jepordise my recovery but iv gotten over today, its 1.25am and im going to bed now after spending the night at home, i read, had dinner and watched a dvd with my ma…. i dont want to use it and i dont feel the need. Never the less i wont ever do it again, i just didnt think. i was so used to bringing things into my own brother in prision it just seemed normal to me-i dont know why i never thought of the consequences of getting the gear….its a kind of fucked up situation but iv gotten over today and thats all i can worry about, one day at a time……… im going to be strong about this-its all i can do now.

I know i can get in trouble passing drugs in the court, so i dont really know what im going to do about tuesday, either tell my friend that he will have to arrange for someone else to do it and they can just get the stuff from me a.s.a.p or else go to the court and just see if i can do it, at the end of the day if its too risky i wont-im not that stupid. i would only do it if i got a real opportunuity. I know you are all probably reading this thinking im after loosing me mind or im the stupidest person around and your probably right  but i guess thats just my fucked up logic that im goiing to have to try really hard to be more aware of in future so i dont end up in situations like this again…

Thanks for comments. I know your all writing out of concern and i appriciate it -ALOT. And your prayers too.

Its late and im going to go to bed, i hope il wake up tomorrow with a good , happy, positive head on my shoulders and be strong.