I recently took a trip across the country from North Carolina to California, (my home state)..I was raised in a small biker town and the attitude ieriss pretty laid back but it is a town you can lose yourself in pretty easily especially if your not from there. Lots of bars tatoo clubs etc. I drove from Los Angeles after flying into LAX and stayed with some friends I knew when I was working alot and my son was just born. They have always been supportive and are not all stiff and high and mighty like some I know out east. It was a pretty big accomplishment for me considering in 05 I was just about dead but it does feel different. I know people in my home town who would rather hold a sign on a freeway than get caught up in the VA system but in my case it does keep me alive. I took my son to the beach I grew up atand learned to surf at and got him on a board, explained everything about board designs and what board would be good for him. I got him in the water after having him try and stand on the surfboard on the sand for an hour, how to balance his body on the board and then got him in the water. I was amazed at how after a couple hours of getting him through waves explaining what "duck Diving ' meant he finally caught a wave and as I watched from outside the break he finally stood up only to fall 5 seconds later. It brought back so many memories of my dad teaching me how to surf when I was just 10 years old at the same beach pretty much the same spot tohoseo. It was one of those moments where nothing else mattered, and Ill treasure forever. He was estatic telling everyone he saw that he was a pretty good surfer now andt really not that hard. It was that innocence that made me feel like thats all that really matters. As grown ups we become so full of baggage, get in relationships which fail, lose things, define ourselves by things and are judged by what we have. Its a world Ive never liked the commercialism and phony people who either know it all or have done it all or have all the answers. Regardless of the fact Ive been a US Jarhead (Marine) and a Navy Seal Boat maintinance guy completed a four year trade school and a couple years in college I still regard myself as a kid still……Im not into people who will sit , smoke and act e an like they know it all and are comfortable with their handicapped placards and mundane compacent life by choice. With this illness many of us are in situations which are tough and can break us. People who do not have an immune disease have no idea what it is to live with this and will snicker, talk behind your back and scheme to blindside you. With this realization at thisI am at peace with living with little at this point, have not much to say or respond to ignorant people lazy people drunks liers, schemers, the list goes on. When I die I will know in my heart what is real and what in Bulls&&t..


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