As I have blogged in the past I was filing for divorce and my wife of 14 years was leaving me for her new b/f in Boston. She complained that I worked too hard. That I spent more time on my business and kids than I did to her, and that she wanted to be whisked away by the fairy tale knight and live happily ever after…. I don't know where people get these delusions about life being a fairy tale, but i personally blame Disney. Because after a failed marriage where my first wife cheated on me while I was fighting as a Marine in the first Gulf war (Desert Shield and Storm) and being involved in the "carnage" in Somalia thereafter. There are days I'm just happy to be alive still…… We were filing for the divorce and she was visiting him regularly in Boston, and was planning on moving up there on August 1st. I was done & ready to move on with my and my childrens lives….. Well it appears that Karma works faster than Federal Express. Over the past few weeks she had been having difficulties with her b/f and about a week ago he told her that he is no longer interested in having her move in with him. He still loved her, but did not want her to move in. I can't say that I didn't warn her, " Are you sure that you wan't to bet everything to be with a guy you really barely even know?" And she replied with, " He loved her and would take care of her and it was what she wanted." In my humblest of opinions, my wife got played. It was probably really nice for her b/f to have her 1200 miles away in Florida. To see her whenever they travelled together to be with each other. But as the date got closer and closer for the "big move" it seems he started backing down and then out right said it. Its really easy to promise the world to someone when you have no plans of following through with anything. My wife Val bought it all, hook line and sinker. The problem that involves me is that now, she wants to get back together. To stop the divorce proceedings and try to make everything all good again. I have absolutely ZERO trust in this woman who lied to me and carried on with this love affair. The love that I had felt before SHE asked for the divorce is now a tiny minuscule amount. And to top it all off, since she had put in a 3 month notice of termination to her work – her work has decided to accept her resignation even though she is asking them  to stay now. I can'ty say that I didn't see all of this coming. In today's life if you give most employers a chance to get rid of you and they know about your "status"  they will can you if given the chance. So I guess the real question is my selfish wife "doubled down" on her bet in this thing that we called life. And was willing to risk everything from family & kids to employment on what she believed was her one true savior and love – who turned out to be more flawed and selfish than she was. What am I to do now? Is it my job to rescue someone as selfish as this? Do I try to keep things together for the sake of my kids? And if I play the part of the "Hero" as the dutiful husband and fix things (which I can) who is to say that she won't pull the same shit again further down the road. I don't buy into the whole Fairy Tale crap, and there are times lately that I'm sick of trying to save everyone else………Where exactly is my Happily Ever After? Just Wondering. – B

  1. LoriB 14 years ago

    Needy women are women to stay away from!!! I know men feel they need to save us, but damn it I am a firm believer in standing on your own two feet. I agree who is to say she won't pull the same crap again!! I would say keep her at arms length for a while and maybe you guys can date and see if you can get it back together, but me, myself would not trust her. You take her back and she will think you will always take her back. I am a firm believer in not letting people use me.

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  2. Ribeye 14 years ago

    Hey Brian, I've known you both for years and am saddened by what you have had to endure.   I truly pray that when you ask the Lord for direction, you are not confused by the answer.  You've asked the tribe for input and I guess the hardest thing to say or hear is that a grudge is a heavy burden.  I can't give you advice on what to say or do but am positive that at this time in your children's life, you must put them first.  I'm wishing you the best and if you need to talk, you know how to reach me.  Sincerely,  Tony

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