These are REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller:
I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher:
Do you have an address?
Caller:
No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller
: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher
:
Excuse me ma'am?
Caller
: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher
: Was anything else taken?
Caller
: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach
nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher:
Ma'am, This is nine eleven .
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher:
Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

 
Dispatcher:
9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller:
My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher:
Is this her first child?
Caller:
No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is……….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller:
Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn….I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher:
Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller:
I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: !
Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller:
No
Dispatcher:
What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller:
Running from the Police.

Peace, Love and Laughter, Pozzie

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