the other day I was sitting at work, trying to think where I have gone and what I’m doing at this moment. in an instance, I realize that I have surpassed the 7-year mark. who to think that it’s been this long, seems as if yesterday I was given the news and started the ART.

another is coming to end and I have switched jobs do to stress. began realizing that regardless what my work ethic was my previous employer expected more. I then backed off from the workload and they started micro managing, I saw their true colors and came to reason they had been the root of my stress. I begin looking and find a new job and take the position with a higher salary and less stress (government work), just plenty of red tape.

this year had some great moments, my wife and I married in the church. she had always wanted a church ceremonial process and believe me it was nice. I had never seen my wife tremble at the altar, I had to ask a few times “you ok”. After the ceremony, we went to a nice dinner with our children, parents, and siblings which were very nice. Afterwards, we booked a honeymoon/vacation to Lake Tahoe.

Lake Tahoe, what a beautiful place, lake, mountains and tall trees and the air, so fresh. Our vacation in Tahoe was very nice, drive around the lake, hiking and eating out.

We return, go back to work and I start my new job. Now I had trouble from the get go after starting this position, i was tasked to write documents. Now you probably say, easy, for me not so easy. i finally get the hang of it, since i no longer am involved with engineering networks and servers, less stress but still difficult to deliver a solution.

Now here we are, december, christmas is this weekend, the new year is about to start and yesterday i realized it has been 7 years of my diagnosis.

where am i going with this, about 6 months ago i began to notice changes in my health. first, i began to lose interest in simple daily things, getting up, the want to arrive at work, losing focus, forgetting small items. then i get anxious, depression, insomnia and do not want to eat. however, my lab work is good. but i begin to think what and why is this happening now, genvoya was my ART and i noticed i was having a good majority of the symptoms. my wife, i believe was confused by my behavior. inside i wanted to tell her, but a part of me couldn’t. it was my issue and i had to deal with it but she said we are partners, ok, we are. however, i love her, i felt i was placing my burdeon on her and didn’t want this on her mind. i agreed after talking to her, to call my dr. so they ordered some additional tests and everything is good. but yesterday my dr, ordered liver and thyroid testing for the next blood routine and he put me back on Atripla, it’s like having netflix with odd plots running during sleep.

i keep asking myself, is it from the genvoya? who knows, but i do know this, my body is not the same, and i’m upset with myself for what is happening. but we shall see in two months from the results.

this is my year end vent, you all have a good christmas and new year.