I did nothing all day…and am doing nothing now…just laying in bed…wasting my life away…and as of now, planning on making it a whole day of doing nothing since doing something would entail actually ya know getting up, running up to store to buy shampoo, coming back to shower/shave, then going to “work”(I don’t have a real job. I’m an Uber driver. Can’t handle a real job as anxiety and no confidence prevail in my messed-up head over believing I can do it)….
I can’t think straight..I can’t focus or concentrate on anything…the new ADD med I tried for a month Straterra didn’t do a damn thing and now have to decide whether to waste $65 for a new prescription on it to give it more time to see if it will finally start being effective…I went to see the new Star Wars movie by myself last night and got sad and down over seeing that there were some guys there who were there with their cute girlfriends and made me wonder why couldn’t I be one of those guys who had a gf to go with me to the movie instead of having to be there alone?…I’m ruining my life. I’m wasting my life. I can’t decide what to do first so instead I just choose not to do anything at all. I can’t even decide which cable company to go with at new apartment–already a total of three times I cancelled appointments for installation dates, and with a 4th one looming this Saturday, about to cancel that one too because of freakish indecisiveness(probably some anxiety too about having to be there and talk to service technician for however long it takes him to install). I’m wasting away. I’m not eating healthy, I need to lose I would estimate at least 20lbs I’m a mess, am a mess, am a mess.
Thanks for listening and letting me vent.–Todd