I feel like crying.  ho hum. . .  i'm sick of that feeling.

I had the weirdest dream about Curtis the other night.  (you don't need to read it all. . i just want to write it down somewhere. hehe)  For some reason I couldn't stay at home or didn't want to, because i was really depressed in my dream, so Curtis' mom said I could stay at there house for a while. I ended up staying in a spare bedroom for a week, i never left the bedroom and i remember laying there listening to Curtis bringing his gf over and then them going out all the time.  He didn't talk to me once while i was there until the last day, he was about to take his gf out when his mom told him he needed to talk to me.  So he came into the room and he said he knew i was depressed because of him, so he said he wanted me to know that before he got back with his gf he really DID like me and he kissed me 3 times, and his gf came in to ask when they were leaving and i remember wishing she woulda walked in when he kissed me. heh. .  but she didn't see anything and i told them i really should get out of their house and I felt bad for staying so long, so i said goodbye and told them to have a good time and got in my car and then Curtis got in my back seat with his gf!  he said we should hang out and cheer me up. . then i woke up.   it was weird and dumb.

it was weird, i HATE being so upset over a stupid guy and I HATE that I HATE being single so much, why do I have to have a guy to be happy?  why can't i just be happy by myself?  i'm pathetic