Well, it seems blogging once a week is nice haha! Anyway, I had spent some time last week with a dear friend over some tea and cake. Yes, I know, sounds girly but it was a great time and guys could benefit from that lol. Anyway, we were both filling each other in (she had an incredible summer in guatemala and I'm glad she was able to go). I told her about my summer and a lot of the struggles I've had with my health and just getting depressed about it. It wasn't that bad of a summer but I made it that way I guess. She kept telling me how much I've grown. I trust this person's opinions (and it's hard for me to trust) but what's so difficult is I don't see it. I'm just moving along I guess. I'm not trying to be humble about it, I know I'm not the same but I haven't changed. My "Guilt" is still there (for those of you not in the know, I've named my OCD) beating me senseless. I mean I'm glad people see improvement, I've been working hard but I'm nowhere near where I want to be or where I should be. My biggest pet peeve right now is looking back when I moving forward should be my focus. Yes, history should never be ignored or else one shall repeat it but dwelling on it is quite another story. And when I finally do want to move forward I have no clue where to go. It's like my future is completely blank without even a step or guide. For many I know the future is what you make it but I've had my share of disaster in the driver's seat so honestly, I feel stuck. Happy I'm not alone, but stuck.
Related Articles
-
On the recovery path… but damn, I wish it could be easier.
dreamychloe, , OCD, Anger, Anxiety, OCD, Therapist, Therapy, 0
Hi! You do not have to answer this message; I just like to write and sharing with you my...
-
None
xNinax, , OCD, OCD, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 2
I've convinced myself my boyfriend dosn't love me. Ok so i have the most amazing boyfriend he is honestly...
-
OCDson’s Skin appointment
warriormom, , OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Medication, OCD, 0
Hi. Well, my son had a Derm. appointment (first time) yesterday that my husband took him to. He actually...
-
Never Ending Chain of Bad Luck
Jessealuvseashells, , OCD, Addiction, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Grief, OCD, Parenting, Relationships, Suicide, 2
Right now I'm sitting in my dishevled house, with hunger pains and a lump in my throat. I'm trying...
-
-
-
OCD: The Bane Of My Existence
steelcitygirl, , OCD, Anger, Anxiety, OCD, Parenting, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Therapist, Therapy, 2
For the record I wrote this on 6/27/13 and have just been too "blah" to post it. It...
-
My little germaphobia
KylaRose21, , OCD, OCD, Relationships, 2
Hey everyone – long time since I've blogged and there are lots of new people here. Welcome all 🙂...
I can totally empathize with your frustration at not being as far along as you'd like to be, but don't give up. I think sometimes it's hard to see your own progress BECAUSE it's yours – you're living it day to day, so it all just flows together and feels the same. But someone else, like your friend, can more easily see the changes from that more distant perspective. Kinda like when you don't notice how long your hair grows between haircuts until someone who hasnt seen you in a while points it out. 🙂