Just had a bad week, OCD is raging and I have no idea why. My school work is piling up and I just found out that I will be in school FOREVER. Well another year and a half which is frustrating. ThenI get home tonight, my brother is having a bomb fire. So I go talk to him and his friends and he is a complete jerk to me. In front of his friends pretty much calling me stupid and that he is so much smarter than me and blah blah blah. Here is the thing, he lives in my parents basement, doesn't have a job, lies about everything, hardly has any schooling and has had troubles with the law. He is only a year younger than me and not trying to brag but I am working towards my bachelors in accounting with a minor in finance, I made the deans list and I am in an honors society. I would never throw that in his face, especially in front of other people. I love my brother so much and it hurts me that he was so mean to me. We are preparing for a 5K and have been working out together and we always get along. I just do not understand how someone could be so mean to me for no reason. I did not say anything to him, I just walked away, shameful to admit but crying. He was drunk too but I do not see that as an excuse tobe a jerk. My nerves are just fried from OCD and taking care of a sick boyfriend. I feel like I let people kick me around because OCD makes me feel so bad about myself. I know this blog is kinda pointless, I just don't have anyone to talk to who understands.
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Alcohol + Friends = Doing stupid s@#% you would never do otherwise.
You're right Laur, there is no excuse to be a jerk. But this just happens. I'm the most easygoing, straight-laced guy on the planet, but I've done plenty of stupid things drinking with friends. (Knocking myeslf out with a metal trashcan I threw in the air being a particular highlight.)
Not to make excuses for your brother though. It's good you took the high road, but ream him out next time you see him. And kick his butt the next time you run together (btw, I'm so psyched it's warm enough to go running now!). It sounds like you have a good relationship in general, so try to chalk this up to a momentary lapse.
And it only makes sense that your OCD is going nuts. Outside stress can make your OCD so much worse. Confrontations, pressures at work, etc, get my anxiety ramped up and suddenly my rituals for contamination take twice as long. It makes no sense, it's just the way the mind copes with too much input. And when you're in accounting it makes it 100 times worse! 🙂
Also, try not to let OCD make you feel bad about yourself. Sounds like you've got it together more than most. Take care.
That sounds rough. I hope you’re doing better now than when you wrote this. It’s terrible when your OCD is going crazy and you still make an effort to be nice to people, and then they respond by acting like assholes. It happens to me on almost a constant basis. Does your brother know you have OCD? If so, he needs to be considerate of that. At least it sounds like you have a good relationship with him, overall.
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Don’t feel bad about yourself for having OCD. It’s a medical condition. You wouldn’t feel bad about yourself if you had cancer or heart disease.
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Hope things start going better.